Born on the 5th June 1990, the Canadian specimen we all know as Junior Hoilett has given the realms of football a good old run for its money. Now at the ripe age of 35, operating predominantly as a left winger, our lad stands at a mighty 5ft 8in (1.73m) and weighs in at a finely-tuned 11st (70kg). He's got the privilege of donning the hallowed number 23 jersey for Hibernian, and he's also done his bit for the Canada national team over the years.
Our lad embarked on his illustrious journey in football with a little stint at Paderborn 07 in the 2. Bundesliga in Germany, back in 2007. After proving himself a decent enough find by making 12 first team appearances and popping in a solitary goal, he moved on to St. Pauli a year later. Hoilett had a stronger season there, clocking in 26 appearances and, much to everyone's delight, six goals.
With the German experience behind him, in 2009 the lad made the brave move to join Blackburn Rovers in England. Over three seasons he chalked up a respectable number of appearances and a handful of goals.
Then in 2012, families fearing an end of days, populated betting shops nationwide to watch Hoilett go to Queens Park Rangers for an undisclosed fee. There he jabbed in goals, tallying an inspiring dozen, while appearing like a fixture in the lineup across five seasons. Naturally, it seemed Hoilett had found his spiritual football home. Alas, the summer of 2016 saw him disappear into the void.
Squatting the managerial seat at Cardiff City in October that year, Neil Warnock snapped up our wandering hero. Infused with a burst of lionhearted spirit, Hoilett racked up 33 first team appearances and a pair of goals on his report card. Over a fruitful five seasons at Cardiff, Hoilett saw more action and scored more goals than the star-crossed lovers in a Shakespearean tragedy.
Eventually, in August 2021, it was time for a change, and Reading won the lottery. A healthy mix of appearances and goals remained a constant, yet by 2023, Hoilett found himself crossing the Atlantic and shaking hands with the folks at Vancouver Whitecaps. A blink of an eye later, he was flitting across Canadian soil only to find himself in the orkney-bitten air of Scotland. A brief encounter with Aberdeen preceded his current tenure with Hibernian.
At the ripe old age of 35, he can look back down his career path with no small amount of satisfaction. Alas, wearing the green of Hibernian and representing them in the League Cup and various European Qualifiers, Hoilett seems to still have significant fuel left. But don't worry, we're not underestimating the boy. We're not even surprised — just mildly amused.
