Ah yes, another tale of English football mediocrity by way of Jack Butland. Born on the 10th of March 1993 in the festively cold English climes, the now 31-year-old Butland is a man paid to stand on a piece of grass and play catch for hours on end. He plies his trade in Scotland these days, for a team named Rangers. Stands at a lofty 6 foot 5 inches (1.96m for you folks keen on the metric system), easily noticeable amongst the plebeians of the pitch. His weight measures around 14 stone 11 pounds (about 94kg). Jolly good number 1 adorns his back, the quintessential goalkeeper's number, no less.
Now, our dear Jack's worth is estimated at around £2.5m as per the good folks at Transfermarkt. Why would anyone bother to fork out such sums on this chap is a question for the ages. His current contract with the Scottish outfit shall run its course on the 31st of May, 2027. Hopefully, he's saved up enough by then to afford a decent retirement.
The tale of attritional mediocrity takes root when Butland decided to join Birmingham City in July 2010. The astute might observe he was just a fresher in this fraternity of overpaid athletes. After making 46 rather forgettable appearances in league matches during the 2012-2013 season, he was loaned to Cheltenham Town in September 2011. He appeared 24 times for the League Two outfit thereafter in the 2011-2012 season before being recalled by his parent club. The tale then proceeds, rather predictably, through a series of transfers, loans, and steadily diminishing returns.
Relocation seemed to be the flavour of the time as Butland moved to Stoke City for £3.5m in July 2013. A string of loans to mighty football powerhouses such as Barnsley, Leeds United, and Derby County yielded sporadic first team appearances. A tenure punctuated by a glut of mediocrity, one might say. Stoke City itself would remain his footballing home till October 2020.
Butland's next port of call? Crystal Palace, England's perennial football pinnacle. The princely sum of £1m was splashed on him. First team appearances for Crystal Palace numbered a whopping one in the 2020-2021 season and nine in the 2021-2022 season.
In January 2023, Butland was loaned to mighty Manchester United. The sheer hallmark of his career, one can't help but imagine. Alas, there is no thrill in riding the bench, and he would eventually move to Rangers in Scotland in July 2023. Through the 2023 – 2024 season and the ongoing 2024 - 2025 one, Jack was sighted in goal, huffing and puffing for all he's worth, on a total of 61 occasions.
Ah, the joys of mediocrity! Here's to another few years of watching Jack Butland stand around on a football pitch. Surely Scottish football hasn't peaked yet.
