Revel in the murky and unpredictable world of lower-tier Scottish football and meet Coll Donaldson. Born between two rainy Scottish April showers on 9 April 1995, Donaldson has crawled his way up from the Scottish sixth-tier leagues to amuse us with his exploits at Falkirk. According to Transfermarkt, his current market value is a whopping £85k, enough to afford a semi-decent double-glazed conservatory with central heating, not that footballers generally invest in such practicalities, mind you.
The 6ft 2in 'tall' (or 1.88m for any metric martyrs, among you) defender who balances perfectly at 12st 12lb (or 82kg for those who trade in stones and pounds) spent his early days chasing balls around Livingston, Scotland. He scored a positively dizzying one goal in 24 appearances across the 2012 - 2014 seasons, promptly convincing Queens Park Rangers in England to part with around £150k for his services in January 2014. Clearly, his sterling single appearance for QPR during the 2013 - 2014 season validated every penny spent.
In the spirit of true adventure, or perhaps misguided career advancement, Donaldson took his talents back to Scotland, to grace the turf of Dundee United, then Inverness CT, followed by Ross County. He even ventured around various leagues, vaguely inconveniencing defences with his 32 appearances and one goal across two and a bit seasons for Dundee United from 2015 - 2017, and his 55 appearances and one goal for Ross County over two seasons from 2019 - 2021.
Demand for Donaldson seemed insatiable with Dunfermline Athletic picking him up on loan in January 2022 before sending him back to Ross County in June the same year; clearly his 7 appearances and one goal for them proving too hot to handle. Mercifully, Falkirk saw something in the nomadic defender and offered him solace in July 2022, in the hallowed grounds of their premiership side.
At Falkirk, Donaldson has turned out 52 times in the green-and-white hoops since the 2022-2023 season, excelling particularly in the elusive art of avoiding the net; apart from the singular instance, of course. His participation in the Scottish Cup 2025 - 2026 with two starts stands as a testament to his enduring presence. Or one could argue, the lack of better options at Falkirk's disposal. Either way, Donaldson continues to contribute, as he always has, in his own unique, understated way.
